My problem is I want to change the world. I see injustice and inequality and I can't stand it. What's worse is I feel like I should change the world or really I should be changing other people. Of course I'd never articulate this as crassly as I have just done but none the less it was the underlying story I believe I have been telling myself. This year I'm taking a year off. Instead, I'm just going to try and be the change. I will work on just changing myself and let the rest of humanity sort itself out.
A perfect example of this is some of the kids on my street. They'll often come and play in our yard or with our kids. Talk to some Xns and they'll tell me how that's a great avenue to get to know the parents (the implication from evangelicals being I will then be able to convert them or from more progressive Xns being I will then be able help them live better lives) others will try to tell me I need to get the other parents to reciprocate the favour otherwise I'm being "used as a baby sitting service". Screw both of those ideas. This year I'm just going to be the stay at home dad with a trampoline, a cubby house a swing, a sand pit, a pretty big paddling pool and two kids happy to play with anyone. I'm just going to try and be and do what I think is best regardless of where it leads or whether anyone says thinks.
That is, I'll be praying "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."
If it works out, which I am pretty confident it will I'll try to integrate it into just a general conscious way of being in the world.