Orthonomy, Doubt and Compassion

Post modernism is often thought of as a movement that has relativised truth. That truth is not as important as experience or, "what's true for you may not be true for me". Personally, I think this unfairly caricatures Post modernism. The reason this may seem to be the case for me and some of my PM friends is that above truth and indeed even what we experience is harmony. That includes the hamony between what one believes and what one experiences or how one lives. I think this is also called orthohomony (right harmony) as opposed to orthodoxy (right belief) or orthopraxis (right practice or action).

This has meant the rejection of "truths" handed down by religious leaders and other authority figures, where the authurity for that truth comes purely from the status of truth giver. It has also meant the rejection of "rituals or practices" handed down by religious leaders and other authority figures for the same reasons.

I don't think this post modern era is the rejection of truth rather it is the rejection of confidence. This rejection of confidence has lead to (for me & I suspect many others) an increase in doubt. Doubt being the gap between belief and experience. This is a problem for many churches who rely on all members agreeing on a set of beliefs or practices. For more evangelical churches who major on orthodoxy and tend to interpret experience through their belief system, and more mainline churches who major on orthopraxis. The doubtful person will interpret belief through their experience and experience through belief, importantly they must be in harmony with each other.

Post moderns are post confident because they have seen the damage done by the confidence where someone is sure that they are right and all others wrong. Examples include slavery, crusades, etc. These are almost always due to a blind confidence in what poeople believed or were doing. There was no doubt or questioning.

I'm wondering in fact doubt feeds compassion. The more confident and right someone is the less compassionate they seem to be. Could this be because they believe they understand a truth that explains why someone is suffering be that because of the individuals own actions or because some supernatural force has inflicted that on them. If you know that then others doesn't If you know why someone is suffering don't need to act. If you are doubtful confused and are not sure of the big story you are faced with just one suffering person and compelled to act. If you have a meta-narrative why then you are not compelled to act.

Apologies if these thoughts are a little rambled and unstructured. I kind of vomited the sentences out.

The First Alter Call

According to Jim Wallis the first alter call was done by Charles Finney. At this alter call people weren't praying the "sinners prayer" with at "trained counsellor", instead they were signing up for the anti slavery campaign. For Finney a commitment to Christ meant a commitment to ending the injustice in his day. More "old school" alter calls I say.

Bah Humbug

Christmas is rapidly approaching and i am feeling completely underwhelmed by it all. There are a couple of things that I have real trouble trying to shake off. The first is that Christmas is a celebration of the winter solstice which is why we have fake fruit (Christmas decorations) on fruitless trees and all those snow images which feels quite disconcerting when it's approaching 40 degrees outside. The second things is that the Bible and I suspect the early church didn't talk much about Christmas. Paul never mentions Xmas and only two of the gospel writers even talk about Jesus birth. Finally, aside from these two things, there is what Xmas is today, an orgy of indulgent consumption. It's a chance for our society to buy ourselves all those things we don't really need and, for people we don't know well, a chance to buy them something they don't even want. next year I'm putting my foot down and only accept receipts from charities as a Xmas gift. My first recommendation for any gift giving friend will be to go to Tear's Really useful gift catalog.

Why do you Connect with this Blog?

About 5 years ago I discovered that all the people I tended to connect with had one thing in common they were all on, had been on were supposed to be on antidepressant medication. So I'm wondering how many "A Churchless Faith" Blog readers do or don't fit into that category. Let me know - you can log in as anonymous to comment if you like.

Critical Child Rearing Mistake No. 6 - Food doesn't come from the Supermarket

With a now thriving veggie patch and fruit trees I thought it would be a great way to teach my daughter that food doesn't come from the supermarket.

Only problem is that I think that she now doesn't think twice about trying to eat anything in anyones backyard. A small price to pay for having a daughter who loves the taste of lettuce. Here's a picture of the whole veggie patch.

It's an improvement since last year.

Taking a break to catch vommit.

I won't be blogging for a week or so because I'm off to look after intoxicated School Leavers. Making sure that they get enough water to drink and that they don't need to be calling an ambulance or get into any other trouble. It basically means hanging out with 17 year olds and doing a bit of vomit catching as well. It should be more fun than it sounds.

Jesus for the Non-Religous: A Reflection

I've just finished reading John Shelby Spong's most recent book. Jesus for the Non-Religious. In part one of the book Jack (apparently that's what his friend's call him) dismisses the birth narratives including virgin birth, the 12 disciples, the miracles and the resurrection, which is probably enough to get most evangelicals to stop reading. It was an interesting exercise reading this book that I believe is pretty much a summary of much of Spong's thoughts. Spong is the liberal theologian that evangelicals to love to hate. Seeing I think of myself as liberal evangelical it was an intersteding read to say the least.

The Book is Divided into 3 parts. Part 1 looks at the supernatural stuff aroun d Juesus and trys to seprate the myth from the reality, part 2 looks at Jesus in his jewish context and part 3 looks at what it means to be Xn with the understanding of part 1 and 2.

Whilst many people reading the openng chapters on virgin birth, the 12 disciples and the miracles might find them confronting, as Spong dismisses all of them, I had this feeling of almost relief that at least he wasn't going after anything that was central to my faith. Although inexorably linked who Jesus was and what he encouraged others to be was always more important than what he did. That is in healing a leper, it was always more important than a social outcast was brought back into the community than a miracle occuring. His arguments around the birth narratives and and the 12 disciples I found particularly persuasive. Whether Jesus was born of a virgin (Luke 1:30-35) or a young woman (Isaiah 7:14) possibly out of wedlock (Mark 6:3 - where he is called son of Mary rather than Joseph), I don't think bothers me all that much. His arguments around miracles was so so and the arguments about the resurrection were least persuasive. I just couldn't see why the disciples would invent something that so quickly became the central part of their faith.

Part of Spong's central thrust around dismissing the supernatural stuff in the gospels is that different gospels have different slants and use different events or different takes on the same event to paint a slightly different theological point. For Example: There is no passover in John's gospel that's because Jesus is the passover. The turning of the tables in the temple is the climatic final event in Mark, Mathew and Luke but the very first event in John. On the cross Jesus three different last words "it is finished", "father in your hands I place my spirit" and "Father forgive them they know not what they do" depending on what Gospel you are reading. The Birth Narratives in Luke and Matthew are also good examples of these differences.

A more fundamentalist person would argue that everything in the two birth accounts happened and the gospel writers just picked and chose which events to put in their gospel. The problem is that there a many bits of the gospels that you just can't harmonize without some seriously difficult logical gymnastics. Spong on the other hand says almost everything is a literary device used to illustrate a point. The problem with with this is that almost every event in the gospels becomes a literary device to illustrate a point.

Personally I think each event needs to be taken on a case by case basis. The birth narratives, I can understand the argument that this is a period of Jesus life that the writers may have known little about, Paul for example doesn't talk about it, and it is conceivable that the gospel writers added these narratives. The Resurrection on the other hand was something that was something that from as early on as we know was central to Xn theology. To argue that it was not literal is fine but I, at least, need a better explanation of what was the the resurrection experience was that the disciples had that they could only write about in this way. Spong's explanation doesn't quite cut it for me.

I have a lot of empathy for Jack Spong. He is trying to wrestle his faith into the 21st century. He is a theologian who is a product of his time and place, Growing up in a fundamentalist, racist, sexist and homophobic deep south he has grown to see Jesus and the gospels as something which condemns all of this. He may not be quite as aware as could be helpful how much he is a theologian of his time and his place This is not to say that what he has to say is not valuable any less than to say that Liberation theology should be dismissed, because of the circumstance that it came from in South America.

The Truth, about what is history and myth in the gospels, I think, lies somewhere in between Spong and a more literalistic reading of the text.

The Second part of the book Spong looks Jesus in a Jewish context. No matter what you think of Spong's conclusions in part one I thoroughly recommend this part of the book, to any regular evangelical. If you can set aside the argument over whether the events (like the miracles) were invented to give colour to the theology or whether the theology came to describe the miracles, it is still worth reading. Spong's analysis of the Jewish overtones and illusions throughout the gospels is excellent and I'd challenge any evangelical to find fault with that. It is certainly something that I will re read again with a copy of the Bible, pen and paper in hand.

In part three Spong describes what it means for him to be Xn. I wish that this part of the book had been longer and more in depth. I think almost all of what Spong said about the essence of Xy is I agree with, this part of the book is really about how we live. He describes Jesus as a human portrait of the love of God. When it comes down to it this is really what is most important. I read this book because I when I hear Jack Spong say that the church is dying, it is sexist and and doesn't have a decent grasp of Xys Jewish roots I agree with him. His resolutions I may not agree but no matter what you think the third part of the book has a beautiful resonance to it and his writing style is almost poetic reminding of the writing style of Sister Joan Chitster.

So I recommend that you read the book it won't hurt it's just words on a page. Even if like me you don't agree with everything that Jacks says their is still plenty to learn even for a hard line evangelical.

A Rough Guide to Building a Better World

The Rough Guide people have put together A Rough Guide to Building a Better World. What's more it's a free PDF!

TV frustration

Last night I sat down hoping to see the first episode of Weeds season 2. I don't what a lot of TV and this is the best American or UK TV drama for the last couple of years. This week was the first time I saw it mentioned in the paper and channel 9 has not advertised it what so ever and they have buried it at 11pm on Monday night. Alas it was episode 5. Previously I have whinged about the delay in screening programs like six feet under and Weeds. In America Weeds is up to Season 4. Mostly I can put up with waiting for a TV show to arrive put it's the lack of advertising combined with putting it in obscure time slots and the occasional out of order running of programs. Shaun Mcaileff explains how channel 9 does it's programming in this clip - you have to fast forward to 2:05 to see it.

Surely this pain could be easily averted by setting up an email service where viewers are emailed a reminder when their favourite shows return? Having missed out on the main character getting married and her son getting his girl friend pregnant I can either give up on the show having missed so much of the back story or try an hire the DVDs or download the episodes. If I get either of these formats for the first half of the season why not the second half as well.

My second gripe is the shows TV actually show. If they are not buried at 11pm they are ignored completely. The Flight of the Conchords is a prime example of this (see clip below). Surely with two New Zealanders in the lead role we could try and claim that the show is Australian like we did with the band Crowded House. Instead we are inflicted with more crime investigation "NCIS vs CSI in Kentucky" or whatever is the latest variation.

Again I'm forced to find the show elsewhere. The easiest probably being to watch it on you tube, on a tiny screen having to find the next part of the program every five minutes. painful to say the least. The internet isn't killing TV, TV is killing TV.

Bible quoting Greens

Last week Stephen Crittenden (ABC's Religion report) interviewed Jim Wallace (Managing Director, Australian Christian Lobby), Christine Milne (Greens senator) and Rev. Fred Nile (Member of the NSW Legislative Council). Beyond the thinly disguised right wing rhetoric of family values from the Australian Christian Lobby it was interesting to note that the only one of the three interviewees quoted the Bible (and more than once). That was Greens senator Christine Milne. The other two interviewees seemed happy enough to say that Xy is about "family values" and then talk about those values. "Family values" has always struck me as strange term since everybody is part of a family. When I used to listen to Parliament (before the days of podcasting) I was always impressed with the way the Greens conducted themselves and their commitment to social justice as well as the environment.

Election Resources

If you're tired of the way electoral candidates are presented either through the media or their own advertising and would like something meatier than a 15 second sound byte, usually about why you shouldn't trust the other guy then, the Australian Student Christian Movement WA have put together a great resource outlining many of the parties policies about some key issues. I have reproduced most of that page below.

What is your vision for how government can best benefit the poor?

• Issue information: Vision (pdf - 22KB)


• Collated response: Vision (pdf - 32KB)

How do you intend to address global poverty? Will you be increasing Australia’s aid budget to at least 0.7% of GDP?

• Issue information: Global Inequality (pdf - 28KB)


• Collated response: Global Inequality (pdf - 33KB)

Links to more information:

• Poverty History Report Card (pdf) (compares policies of four major parties)


• AusAID Intro to Australian government aid program

How do you propose to support humanitarian entrants to Australia, including those who arrive informally to seek asylum?

• Issue information: Asylum Seekers (pdf - 26KB)


• Collated response: Asylum Seekers (pdf - 34KB)

Links to more information:

• CARAD Frequently Asked Questions


• Amnesty International Australia – refugees – Q&A


• Immigration Department detention statistics (Oct 2007) (pdf)


• A Just Australia comparison of party policies


• A Just Australia score sheet

How do you intend to address the crisis in accommodation for homeless and low-income Australians?

• Issue information: Housing (pdf - 33KB)


• Collated response: Housing (pdf - 40KB)

Links to more information:

• Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, Homeless People in SAAP: SAAP National Data Collection Annual Report 2004–05 (pdf)


• Real Estate Institute Australia 2007 market outlook (pdf)


• Shelter WA 2004 paper ‘State of Affordable Housing in WA’ (pdf)


• Youth Facts & Stats – Homelessness


• Tenants Advice Service WA
  

What is your national anti-poverty strategy?

• Issue information: Anti-Poverty Strategy (pdf - 29KB)


• Collated response: Anti-Poverty Strategy (pdf - 36KB)

How will you ensure low-income earners are supported through the tax and welfare system? Will you be introducing a less punitive welfare system?

• Issue information: Tax and Welfare (pdf - 29KB)


• Collated response: Tax and Welfare (pdf - 41KB)

How does your industrial relations policy protect the powerless, support family life and ensure adequate income for all?

• Issue information: Workplace Law (pdf - 31KB)


• Collated response: Workplace Law (pdf - 45KB)

Links to more information:

• Queensland Industrial Relations Commission Final Report: Inquiry into the Impact of Work Choices on Queensland Workplaces, Employees and Employers, 29 January 2007 (pdf) (report in full 2MB). An Executive Summary is available here (pdf - 87KB).
  

What policies do you have to support the development of indigenous Australians, including closing the gap between indigenous and non-indigenous Australians’ health and well-being?

• Issue information: Indigenous (pdf - 29KB)


• Collated response: Indigenous (pdf - 43KB)

Links to more information:

• the Gap campaign

What is your party’s policy response to student poverty and high levels of debt?

• Issue information: Student Poverty (pdf - 28KB)


• Collated response: Student Poverty (pdf - 32KB)

Links to more information:

• Australia ‘Australian Student Finances Survey 2006’

How will you ensure universal access to high-quality education and health care?

Health

• Issue information: Education (pdf - 25KB)


• Collated response: Education (pdf - 44KB)

Links to more information:

• Australian Medical Association Key Health Issues for 2007 Election (pdf)


• Australian Bureau of Statistics Health Care Delivery & Funding 2006


• Australian Nursing Journal Federal Election articles


• Doctors Reform Society Policy Statements

Education

• Issue information: Health (pdf - 26KB)


• Collated response: Health (pdf - 35KB)

Links to more information:

• March 2007 article about HECS in The Age


• Australian Bureau of Statistics report ‘Education and Work 2006’


• Australian Bureau of Statistics report ‘Schools 2006’

What is your plan to reduce Australia’s negative environmental impacts?

• Issue information: Environment (pdf - 29KB)


• Collated response: Environment (pdf - 63KB)

Links to more information:

• United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change info on Kyoto protocol


• Re nuclear power

What is your position regarding the loss of civil rights brought about by recent anti-terrorism legislation?

• Issue information: Civil rights and Anti-terrorism (pdf - 28KB)


• Collated response: Civil Rights and Anti-Terrorism (pdf - 29KB)

Links to more information:

• Study on Human Rights Compliance while Countering Terrorism, by UN Special Rapporteur Martin Scheinin (Summary) (pdf)

How do you intend to work for peace, especially in Iraq and in our region?

• Issue information: Peace in our Region (pdf - 24KB)


• Collated response: Peace in our Region (pdf - 46KB)

Links to more information:

• Department of Foreign Affairs & Trade: ‘Advancing the National Interest’ White Paper on Foreign Affairs & Trade Feb 2003 (pdf)

Responses by Party The full responses as received by the parties are available here.

• Australian Democrats (pdf - 69KB)


• Christian Democrats (pdf - 51KB)


• Coalition (pdf - 572KB)


• Family First (pdf - 7KB)


• Greens (pdf - 55KB)


• Socialist Alliance (pdf - 38KB)


• Socialist Equality (pdf - 38KB)

Party policy websites

• Liberal


• Labor


• Nationals


• Democrats


• Greens


• Family First


• Socialist Equality Party


• Socialist Alliance


• Christian Democrats

Australian Electoral Commission

• Australian Electorial Commission home page


• List of all registered political parties

Christian resources for Federal Election 2007

• Uniting Church


• Anglican


• Catholic


• Centre for Ethical Studies - they are also collating responses from parties on justice issues


• Young Christian Workers (pdf)

Other resources

• Peace Tasmania


• Christian Students Uniting (UNSW)


• Voting Christianly by John Dickson (from TEAR) (pdf)

Back on the Father Bob Podcast.

Today I had the pleasure of joining Father Bob and Cameron Reilly for the 76th Father Bob Podcast. I don't think I did much talking, which I think is what tends to happen when you're not in the room with the other two people that you like listening too. Plus I'm not good at talking over the top of others, I"ll never make a good politician.

Atheism vs Christianity: A Reflection

I've been feeling a little but fatigued by the Atheism vs Xy (or faith of any description) debate. It is something that has struck an unusual chord with me over the last year or so. Mainly because when I listen to these debates I find myself tending to cheer on the side of the atheist rather than the Xn, which is a little disconcerting seeing that I identify as a Xn and have not been persuaded to give up my faith. This is not to say that I haven't been persuaded by any of the arguments of atheists, I think I have, but rather than those arguments demolish my faith I feel like they have sharpened it or trimmed off the woolly bits. I do wonder whether this will eventually whittle my faith into nothing or whether it will only refine it further.

Perhaps one of the unspoken limits of the debate is that the debate is always going to be about someones dentition of God rather than just God. Never the less they are still worthwhile especially given the kind of things people will do in the name of their definition of God. This is why I often find myself cheering on the atheist, thinking "that definition of God is not my idea of God", or cringing at the Xn because I feel like my definition of God or what God is like is very different to theirs.

I wonder if it would be helpful to concede that the big problems with Religion and God believers is not that they believe in God, but what they subsequently believe and what that belief gives them a right to or, instructs them to do. Most people don't have a problem with people who believe that aliens landed in area 51 or that the moon landing was staged because it doesn't actually impact on the way they treat other people. The big problems with religious people, as I see it, is when religous people do evil things because they believe it is what God wants. That evil stretches the spectrum from genocide to indoctrinating children in their own faith with out giving them a choice about it or denying the rights of scientists to do science.

I also think it is worth Xns conceding that science has more to say to faith than faith has to say to science. Faith is about a general whole of life perspective, science is about specific measurable things. Faith is like a big blanket and Science is like a knife, hitting only specific areas of the blanket. It may cut a hole in the creationism part of the blanket, but the blanket is still there, it may cut so many holes that many people consider the blanket is no longer a blanket.

I can remember hearing someone say that Atheism or Faith might be genetically determined. To me, often the debate seems to be trying to work out who is blessed and who is cursed. Are the believers blessed because they can experience something other or are they cursed because they are deluded. Are atheists blessed because they can see the world rationally and clearly with out the distortion of faith or are they cursed because they are missing out on a connection with something other. Too often it has felt like two sides yelling at each other telling the other that they are the blessed ones and the other is cursed. As a Xn I would like to say that I do not know whether I am blessed or cursed by my faith. It has certainly been important to me and it is something that has been shaped not only by other Xns but more recently by atheists too.

Richard Dawkins says that on a scale of 1 to 7, where 1 is absolutely sure that God exists and 7 is absolutely sure God doesn't exists, that he would be a 6. Personally I think I waver between 2 and 3. As much as it is easy to get caught up arguing about what is the "right belief" I'm convinced that what is important is how we live and I will always feel like I have more in common with an atheist who cares for the poor and their fellow human being than an Xn who is protesting against the teaching of science or protesting about someones private sexual ethics.

Critical Child Rearing Mistake No. 5 - The iPod

Scarlett loves nothing more than pushing buttons on things she's not allowed to play with and the iPod falls into that category.

Only problem is she keeps talking to the iPod like it's a phone. I think iPhone will be the first thing she'll write on her Christmas list. Her chance of getting one? About as likely as a pre-election merger between Family First and The Greens.

The End of The Space

The Space is Dead, Long live the Space!

For those of you who have been following this Blog for a while you'll know that for a while I wanted to put together some kind of alternative service. This culminated in the creation of "The Space" a reflective service that started earlier this year. "The Space" did everything that I hoped it would. It was easy to organise, easy to set up, reflective, non-confrontational, enjoyable whether you are 10 or 90 and really got people thinking about Jesus and what it means to follow Jesus.

"The Space" started with five people who didn't really know each other that well at the start of the process and ended with six people who do know each other pretty well and who are keen to share their spiritual journey's with each other and none of us really knowing anyone else who we could invite to be a part of it. For me this put the "The Space" at a cross roads. We could continue as we are ignoring what could be gained by more intensely interacting with each and try doing the good old try and drag people into our space through advertising. But, there is no way I'm going to go down that road. Instead we're going to start a small / discussion / home church kind of group. If the need for "The Space" arises we will surely resurrect it again. But for now it's time for a break.

Be-Attitudes

The We Can Be website recently posted this rendering of the beatitudes. I had to share it here.

Blessed are the poor…
Not the penniless, but those whose hearts are free.
Blessed are those who mourn…
Not those who whimper, but those who raise their voices.
Blessed are the meek…
Not the soft, but those who are patient and tolerant.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice…
Not those who whine, but those who struggle.
Blessed are the merciful…
Not those who forget, but those who forgive.
Blessed are the pure in heart…
Not those who act like angels, but whose lives are transparent.
Blessed are the peacemakers…
Not those who shun conflict, but those who face it squarely.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for justice…
Not because they suffer, but because they love.

Give Me Shelter A.Cadwallder, B.Kiley, & P.Lockwood Open Book 2001

Greg Explains Why Everything Isn't Working

If you have ever wondered why people like me (people who have been Xns for a while and have thought reasonably deeply about their faith) feel disengaged from church Greg Hawkins executive pastor of American Mega Church Willow Creek gives a great 13 minute explanation why. It's a great starting point for anyone who just doesn't understand why many committed Xns no longer feel like church is for them.

Choclate is bad for your Soul

A little while ago Steven Chalke spokesperson for stop the traffik was on ABC's Sunday nights with John Cleary. He was talking about the current levels of human trafficking in the world today which are 2-4 million men, women and children every year. The good news is that there are things that we can do about it. Nearly half the world's chocolate is made from cocoa grown in the Cote D'Ivoire, in Africa and nearly 12,000 children have been trafficked into cocoa farms in Cote D'Ivoire. When we buy chocolate we are being forced to be oppressors ourselves as we have no guarantee that the chocolate we eat is 'traffic free'. The good news is that chocolate is not a necessity (I know that is a shock to some) and that there are fair trade alternatives and the stop the traffik website has a List of Australian fair trade chocolate. Essentially you're going to be looking for the fair trade logo.


Pretty easy really.

R Rated Blog

Apparently I have an R rated Blog? the reasons are because I copied a quote describing Jesus as a "cosmic Jewish Zombie", saying the film The Passion contained the torture of Jesus, and saying that I'm not keen on the idea of being a missionary. Click on the link and find out how racy your blog is (or isn't).

I think I just cut my Faith with Ockham's Razor

A while ago I started reading Tom Wright's "The New Testament and the People of God" recently. Although I was hoping for something intellectual and encouraging I found it dry and academic. Dry and academic enough for me to hunt around in the local library to find a Nic Hornby Novel - "How to be Good" - to read in parallel with it. It was a great read a great look at what it practically means to "do good" as a middle class westerner. The idea of reading in parallel slowly slipped into reading instead of I moved onto re-reading Chuck Paulaniuk's "Invisible Monsters" instead of Tom.

There was something about "New Testament and the People of God" that I just found really uninspiring and I'm usually always up for a wrestle with an academic theological tome. It's not Tom's fault I think I've some what unconsciously as well as consciously been wrestling with what I believe a little bit more than usual of late and I feel like "New Testament and the People of God" wasn't helping in fact quite the opposite. One of the things that been at the core of my wrestling is the principle of Ockham's Razor. Ockham's Razor is often summarised as "All things being equal, the simplest solution tends to be the right one". Lately I've been wondering even if I think my Faith is plausible what happens if I don't think it's probable. At the moment many of my beliefs don't seem as probable as I once felt they were.

What I am feeling is somewhat similar to the feelings that Mother Teresa expressed to a friend in a candid letter.

Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear, the tongue moves [in prayer] but does not speak ... I want you to pray for me that I let Him have [a] free hand.

Right now I am feeling a silence and an emptiness. As much as I tend to live my faith in my head it's moments like now that I realise how much of what I believe is grounded in a heart felt sense of otherness. Despite this my anchor is still the Jesus I find in the Gospels. I still I admire him, desire to be more like him and see the world become more like what he called the kingdom of God. I have now started reading Joan Chittister's "Scarred by Struggle, Transformed by Hope" where she says...

The first gift of struggle is the call to conversion - the call to think differently about who God is and about who I am as an individual. It calls us to think again about what life really means and how I go about being in the world. These are deeply spiritual questions that touch our notions of God as well as on our ideas of ourselves.

Sometimes I think I'd rather not struggle with my faith. But I'd rather struggle and grow than stay stagnant. So, struggling it is. In her own experience Joan Chittister says that when we are sure of the absence of God that is when we become aware of the presence of God. Although the struggling and emptiness is still there I have comforting niggling feeling that she is right.

Belong, Believe, Behave, Be-what?

"Belong, Believe, Behave" is an emerging church mantra I have often heard that rewrites the "Believe, Behave, Belong" paradigm that is associated with mainstream churches. The idea is that rather that the usual route to joining a Xn community is first they need to believe what everyone believes, then they will start to behave the same way everyone else in the community behaves and then they can join join the community. The idea of Belong, Believe, Behave is that first people are welcomed into a Xn community and then they end up believing what that community believes and then behaving in the same way that the community behaves.

There are two problems I have with the "Belong, Believe, Behave" idea. Firstly that I can't see how an obvious inner circle of people with correct beliefs and behaviors is not going to be created which in turn makes the whole belonging thing a bit tricky and really results in "Welcome, believe, behave, belong". The second problem I have is believe what and behave in what way? This is a question that has been plaguing Xns ever since the New Testament where Peter and Paul disagreed over whether Xns had to behave like Jews or not. Today the issues have changed but still Xns disagree on points like whether the Bible is to be read literally, whether homosexuality is ok. The list goes on, and hence we have people who say I like Jesus but I don't like the church or Xns.

Further more, as I continue to grow as a person and as a Xn (one and the same thing to me) what I believe and hence how I behave is constantly evolving (or spiraling into heresy depending on how you look at it). To simply say believe in Jesus and behave like a Xn is too vague, this is why we have denominations this is why some Xns see John Spong as a friend and others as a foe.

Perhaps we could move to just "Identify and Belong". Where to belong to a Xn community is merely to identify with Jesus, to say "I'd like to be more like Jesus and I'd like to see more of his ideas in the world". The rest is negotiable. Is this possible and if not why not?

Tony Abbot quote

Musical genius Paul Gioia emailed this out the other day and I have to share it...

From my favourite politician, Tony Abbott, on Radio National's Breakfast this morning,

"...Fran, economic policy is not a matter of morality or immorality.. ."

In your hands, clearly not.

Tagged? - The Pharyngula mutating genre meme

Arthur from Five Public Opinions has tagged me again. It seems that he has mistaken me as some kind of well cultured person. To see the rules of this tag visit his blog post. I'm supposed to pass it on but alas it looks like the evolution dies with the Xn ;) I'm just not a pass it on kind of guy. None the less I thought I'd post my answers as it gives some kind of insight in to me.

1. The best murder mystery novel in Magical Realism is…

Lullaby by Chuck Paulanik

(I mutated this from The best time travel novel in Magical Realism is…)

2. The best romantic movie in historical fiction is…

Brokeback Mountain

3. The best love song in industrial rock is…
We're in this together by Nine Inch Nails.

(I mutated this from The best sexy song in industrial rock is…)

If there are any Xn bloggers (or bloggers general even) who pretty much agree with these answers I'd love to hear from you.

"Ten Ways to be the People of God in Suburbiaby" Reflection

Recently Hamo posted the Ten Ways to be the People of God in Suburbiaby Chris Smith. I thought I'd respond to the ten points.

In response, to Brian McLaren’s call for urban churches at the Mayhem gathering last weekend [in Cincinnati], my friend Mike Bishop has been stirring up some conversation on "suburban ministry." Here's my response to that conversation, ten ways for those called to suburban ministry to be in the people of God in radical ways in suburbia. This list is meant for people to chew on and not all of its points may be applicable for all suburban missional church communities.

1) Live with others from your church community
Whether you share your home with another person or family, or whether you have several families that have homes in close proximity or both, sharing life together is perhaps the most powerful (i.e., going against the grain of suburban culture) way to be the body of Christ in suburbia. If you can't live together, at least find a way to share resources (power tools, lawn mowers, children's clothes/toys, etc).

This is not happening. There is no one who lives in close proximity to me apart from my daughter and my wife. I assume this is not a unique struggle for people of my age who have decide to buy a house and have had to move from the inner city to the edges of suburbs where they have found struggling mainline churches, Hill Song wannabe churches and not much else. Having done a fair bit of church surfing we decided to go to a church half an hours drive away. We are yet to convince anyone to move from there nice leafy middle class suburb to join us next to what is often referred to as Perth's most bogan and industrial suburb.

2) Work Less!
One of the major powers that enslaves suburbia is the idolization of the career. There are many ways to pay the bills that do not involve a 9-5 job, and even within a 9-5 job, there are ways to work less (turning down promotions, taking unpaid leave, etc.) Working less will free you to serve your church community, your family, your neighbors, etc. It will also spur creativity: finding a solution for working less, finding a way to "make ends meet" financially, etc.

This is great in principle and I'd love to work four days a week or less but only when my mortgage, food and bills to salary ratio is a bit smaller than 80%. As a family we will soon be working less when my wife who is currently working one day a week stops work at the end of the year. Besides I kind of consider my work a ministry but it does mean working full time, odd hours and occasionally away from home making time to spend with those in my suburb far more limited than if I was working 9-5 somewhere.

3) Throw out the television
Another (and perhaps larger power) that enslaves suburbia is consumerism. You'll be amazed at how your desire for things ebbs as you take the TV out of the picture. If you can't bring yourself to kill the television, at least take steps to lessen its influence (get rid of cable, only use it for movies, put it on a cart that can be wheeled in and out of a closet, etc.) Throwing out the television will also stimulate your creativity.

This I'd like to cut a TV more. TV is so power full Chuck Paulanick's Lullaby says some great things about the power of TV including this great quote.

Old George Orwell got it backward. Big Brother isn't watching. He's singing and dancing. He's pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big brother's busy holding your attention every moment you're awake. He's making sure you're always distracted. He's making sure you're fully absorbed. He's making sure you're imagination withers. Until it's as useful as your appendix. He's making sure your attention is always filled. And this being fed it's worse than being watched with the world always filling you, no one has to worry about what's in your mind. With everyone's imagination atrophied, no one will ever be a threat to the world.

Nobodies life is complete until they've read Chuck.

4) Drive less
Suburban culture is also enslaved to the automobile. Find ways to loosen those bonds (much more difficult in suburbia than in urban areas). Share a vehicle with others in your church community (much easier if you are doing #1 above). Invest in a good bicycle. Walk. There was a segment on "60 minutes" a few weeks ago about how much we miss when we zip around in automobiles. Walking and/or biking will help you be more attentive to your surroundings

After my recent accident my disdain for the car has only been renewed. I have fond memories of life with just a bike and rail ticket. But at the moment life without a car is impossible, the only shop in walking distance apart from a chemist is the petrol station. It's ironic that the only thing in walking distance is the one shop that I have to take my car to to use. None the less, soon I will have a train station within walking distance so I can't wait to see how that changes things for me.

5) Have a garden / grow food
Suburban life is often very shut off from the food cycle (Food comes from the grocery store, of course!). Homegrown food is more healthy, it gives you a good excuse to be outside (see #7 below), and it provides you with a resource to share generously with your church community and your neighbors. Phil Kenneson outlines a number of horticultural lessons for the people of God in his intro to LIFE ON THE VINE that are additional benefits of this practice.

Yes! This is something we are doing. The veggie garden will have it's most productive year this year and the nectarine tree already has about 50 baby nectarines on it. Out the front we have planted a lime and couple of mandarin trees that the neighbours can help themselves to. Eventually we will hang a sign on them saying "Yes you can, just take what you can eat and leave the rest to someone else".

6) Get to know your neighbors / listen for
their needs To be human is to be poor. Or in other words, everyone has needs. The challenge of suburbia is that there are many more ways to conceal that poverty, and similarly that it will take more effort to get into a position where a neighbor can reveal their needs. Be intentional about building relationships. Share meals, play poker, have block parties, whatever it takes.

I'm trying and it's hard. The culture of my neighbourhood is so foreign to me. Having previously reveled in a left leaning, spiritually aware, liberal suburb I once rented in, I know that it's not all down to my own social awkwardness. Beer, cars, football, ACDC, beer and spirits is a the neatest summary of the interests of those in my suburb. A light beer is a heavy night for me, the coolest car I have ever owned is a ford laser, I got married on the Grand Final weekend and would rather listen to Bjork than ACDC. Quite a few neighbours get together every couple of weeks to get pissed together. I haven't been invited most likely due to my inability to talk about what is important to them (beer, footy and cars) when we have chatted in the street or when we had the last impromptu street bbq and that I don't drink.

7) Be outside as much as possible.
Another temptation of suburbia - fueled by individualism - is that of the house as an impenetrable fortress. Dissolve this temptation by eating, playing, relaxing outside. This practice is also one avenue to interact with your neighbors.

Yes! We deliberately got a smaller than average house (which is still pretty big) so we woudl live outside more. We have also started walking again regularly and taking our daughter to visit the ducks at the local park or go to the local swings. Only problem is we don't meet many people on our journeys.

8) Do not fence in your yard
All apologies to Robert Frost, but fences do not make good neighbors, and in fact they often keep us from making good human neighbors. This is a corollary to #7, the fence is a major component of the impenetrable fortress syndrome; it protects our privacy and keeps out our "evil" neighbors. It often is a statement of distrust. If you must have a fence (to corral a dog for instance) make it as low and as permeable (i.e., not blocking off the view) as you can get away with.

Yes! In fact I deliberately built a fence to our backyard that you can see through to see if any one is in the backyard.

9) Take a stand against the greed of mega-corporations
Whenever possible, resist buying from domineering mega-corporations (e.g., Wal-mart, McDonalds, Starbucks, and others). These corporations destroy local economies and have little or no concern for the environment. Buy as much as you can from businesses that are as local as possible (family-owned businesses are preferable to local chains, local chains are preferable to regional chains, and regional chains are preferable to global corporations.)

Our Local Pizza shop is great, but most of the shops are dominated by mega corporations most of whom are franchises owned by locals I assume.

10) Utilize and support non-commercial public spaces (parks, libraries, colleges, etc.)
This point is another corollary of #7 above. We must utilize and show our support for these public spaces, lest they be conquered by the powers of individualism (by becoming private property) or by consumerism (by becoming commercial or industrial property). This is also a wonderful way to foster relationships with our neighbors.

The local (a drive away) Library is great but our parks are pretty crap. Badly maintained with little or know play equipment. Only a few months ago I had to call the council contact the developer to mow it. Hence it's a space that I rarely see used an not by anyone over 15.

This has been an interesting exercise. The ten points are great ideas but not ones I always find easy to implement. It feels like some of the biggest hurdles include having and having to support a family buying a house (an affordable one being on the edges of suburbia) and the difference between me and my neighbours about what we are passionate about.

Perhaps one of the greatest obstacles is the desire or lack of desire to be missional or to be a missionary. I know there is often a fine line of difference between the two but I'm keen to share not to tell. I'm also keen to live out an authentic human or Xn life which is why I have a veggie patch, not as a missionary tool. To share my life and faith means that people around me need to be keen to share with me. The problem is they aren't and I can't see anyway of changing that.

Enrol to Vote Now!

It's on at last. The Federal Election has been called. I have to say that to me both Howard and Rudd are already sounding tired as they have been on the election trail for months. Due to changes in legislation (thanks to John Winston) if you are under 18 you must enrol to vote now you have only got until this Wednesday to do so! Your vote does count particularly in the senate, where you should, and I always do, vote below the line.

How does he get the time?

I'm the kind of person who is struggling to get up have breakfast and be at work on time. What I don't understand is how the lead singer from Muse has the time to be in an international band and play Dr Who as well!

Atheists can say dumb things too

I've just listened to the podcast of the Sunday nights with John Safran and Father Bob show (I'm a bit behind). On the show they interviewed Ian Bryce, NSW Campaign Manager of the new 'Secular Party'. To see how a secular party might do things differently to a religiously influenced party they asked how he would make a decision about something like abortion. He said they would use the utilitarian principle, the greatest good for the greatest number of people. Given that if both parents don't want the child and say only the child is keen to be alive then that's not going to change whether the child is a 2 day old fetus, 30 weeks into the pregnancy or 2 weeks after they are born.

Surely it would be better say something like we'd measure when the fetus becomes a sentient being and won't allow terminations after that, or some other measurable scientific principle. I'm usually groaning because I hear Xns saying dumb things, so it was nice to hear that atheist are susceptible of falling back onto a dogma too.

The Perfect Christian Sausage

Recently I was contacted by an old church friend from almost 20 years ago. He read the blog and says he's wrestling with many of the same issues as me. I've also been part of a church which has done the 40 days of community. What both these things had in common was that I got to talk to with people who weren't sitting right with church or the whole 40 days of community thing what is more they were to afraid to say anything because everyone around them was doing just fine, and they just felt uncomfortable saying anything, like they may upset or distress people with their thoughts. Now, I'm sure there are some great things happening at my old friends current church and I know of some great things that have come out of the 40 days of community thing. None the less in both cases I know of people who have been Xn for a while who just feel like it's not their thing and that saying so would really rock the boat.

At the moment I'm thinking it's not just the structure or the institution or the songs or the dogma that people have an issue. It's the whole process. Church can often feel like a sausage factory where we take the raw lump of new Xn and churn them through the sausage factory until they're a perfect Xn sausage. Becoming the sausage is is usually a pleasant enough experience for most people, but then what do you do once you are a sausage, to many of us feel that their faith has to be far more to it than just this. My concern with the emerging church ventures is that they are changing the structures, institutions, styles and dogma, but the process is still the same.

What I feel is lacking is somewhere were we can really wrestle with our ideas about God especially when that means falling out of the bounds of Xn orthodioxy and where we can collectively nuture each other inspiring each other to venture in to new territory of living out faiuth and wrestlimng with faith. Perhaps the only thing that we would have in common is that we know we don't have God or the meaning and purpose of life sorted out compleetly and we have had Jesus as our common starting point. Is that to wishy washy to flimsy? It would mean liberal and evangelical Xns feeling comfortable sitting side by side assuming that they can learn from each other. All I know is that I finished going through the sausage machine a long time ago and I'm at the other end with more things to wrestle with than when I began.

I think I'm at stage 4 or stage 5 of Fowler's Stages of Faith. The problem for me with these stages of faith is that it assumes some kind of hierarchy over others, which I am uncomfortable with. None the less these stages can be helpful particularly as the Perfect Xn Sausage tends to ends at stage 3. A stage characterised by conformity. A quick search and I'm sure you will find plenty of blog posts and articles about all this so I won't embellish on that here. What is worth mentioning is that often it is not only Xns who are past this stage of faith and then leave church, or at best politely sitting up the back not saying anything but it is also non Xn people who have reached this stage without Jesus and will not even look at Xy as they feel like they have already out grown it.

Today I'm feeling frustrated with the institution of church not because I feel like I don't quite but because too many others I know, who are nowhere near as stubborn as I am, feel like they don't fit. I think the church will continue to die not because it fails to be attractive to new comers but because it is pushing away the kinds of people like my old friend and those who didn't click with the 40 days thing and many more in similar people. I worry that too many are pushed up the back politely not saying anything and this is more dangerous than out being pushed out the door as it makes it easy to miss or ignore.

Rant over. :)

Leunig by my Front Door

I've put an edited version of a Leunig Poem I stumbled upon at a toy shop next to my front door.


The poem reminds me of my path to finding God's door. A path that is a path within and is as much the result of joy as sorrow. Here's how it appears next to my door.

The path to your door
Is the path within
Is lined by flowers
Is lined by thorns.
Is stained with wine
Is washed with joy
is swept by grief.
Is known by heart.
Is known by prayer.
Is lost and found.
Is always strange.
The path to your door......Leunig

This is ths original poem...

The path to your door
Is the path within: is made by animals.
Is lined by flowers. Is lined by thorns.
Is stained with wine. Is lit by the lamp of sorrowful dreams:
Is washed with joy, is swept by grief.
Is blessed by the lonely traffic of art:
Is known by heart.
Is known by prayer.
Is lost and found.
Is always strange.
The path to your door......Leunig

The Under Utilsation of the Word "Use"

What the heck is wrong with the word "Use"? Recently I have noticed professional people at seminars and meetings not using the word "used" instead they use a more complex word "utilise" I assume in order to make it sound more impressive. As in "We can utilise the screwdriver to remove the screw" instead of we can use the screwdriver to remove to the screw. Or, "we hope that this new program will be well utilised by the public" instead of "we hope that this new program will be well used by the public". Once you listen out for it it's friggin every where and I'm sick of it. It's just a way to make something simple sound overly important. Bring back "use" I say. What's wrong with it? There is no reason for this under utilisation of the word "use"!

Climate Change Spoof Ad

The Folks at Get Up have brilliantly spoofed the Australian Government's recent climate change advertising.

It's one think something isn't important it's something else to try and convince the public that you do think it is important and that you are doing something about it. This spoof was just asking to be done.

Collective Sin

Right now my wife is watching a TV documentary about Auschwitz and it's got me thinking about collective sin, as opposed to individual sin. It's certainly right and proper to bring individuals involved in things like Auschwitz to justice but I can't help but think that this does not address the collective sin. To me it is quite conceivable that if Nazi Germany had set it's conquering sites lower that they may have taken over just a chunk of Europe and then continued to be as evil as they were and this evil could conceivably outlasted Hitler. We tend to remember evil empires or acts purely by the people. In Nazi Germany it's Hitler and those working at Auschwitz etc..., in Islamic fundamentalism it's Osama Bin Laden, in Australia it's the police officers who took children away from their indigenous parents and the church institutions who housed them. But it is more than just these people.

These people are just the focal point of a whole culture in motion, a whole culture were almost everyone in that culture is not necessarily guilty of the associated crimes in a legal sense, as they are not directly involved in committing the crimes themselves, they are often just glad that someone else is doing the dirty work for them. Or, perhaps just not brave enough to ask at what cost is there society functioning in the way it is. I am sure many of these people would not have felt responsible for the horrors that were happening around them but perhaps they should have. I worry that they did not feel personally responsible in the same way that I don't feel personally responsible for global warming, third world poverty and the state of indigenous Australia, to name but a few.

Perhaps as Xns we have to often framed sin in terms of personal sin. It is much easier to deal with, one person in complete control of their own actions with complete ability to admit fault and seek reconciliation. Collective sin is something we rarely talk about but need to. Primarily so that we can have a Xn response. If we got this sorted perhaps we'd be leaders in areas of social justice and the environment, rather than just things like sexual ethics (which is primarily treated as an individual sin).

Dicky Dawkins gives me a new metaphor for God

For a while now I've been trying to reconfigure the mental picture I have a of God. Over the past 25 years (since I was a child) I have slowly been moving away from the grandfather in the in the sky image through more and more metaphors to well I'm not sure exactly where. There are probably a range of metaphors to describe my image of God but at the moment I'm finding it hard find any. So it was perhaps a little ironic that one it was something that Richard Dawkins said on a Point of Inquiry interview that rang resonated with me. He described the spiritual or God beliefs of some scientists as a "vast cosmic intelligence at the basis of the whole of the universe" or "a deep spirit at the base of the universe". This, obviously are not his beliefs but for some reason they really resonated with me. I think these ideas might be closer to Paul Tillich's "Ground of Being" or Diarmuid O Murchu's "Relational Matrix", but since I don't really know much about either it might be time to do some investigating.

Mass Confession

This week I got to witness an "Alter Call" of sorts at a pentecostal Assemblies of God church. People were invited down the front to rededicate there lives to God. It was a display of mass public confession where people who were seeking forgiveness or reconciliation with God did so in front of each other. This kind of public confession is something that I tend to associate with a more ancient Catholic form of worship. But the Pentecostal and Catholic churches may not be as different as they may seem. I remember an Anglican bishop once telling me that when a pentecostal pastor told him that their services where different each week unlike the formulaic Anglican services, yet after attending just a few pentacostal services he was able predict exactly the formula or routine of each service.

I got the feeling from the service I attended that this week was probably the same format as last week and will probably be the same next week. that is, a few songs (played for about 45 mins) an offertory talk, the offertory, the message and then a few songs to finish. What is more the ritual routine seemed an important part of the experience. The repeated choruses containing familiar platitudes were like and ancient mantra. The idea of an offertory sermon before the main sermon felt like a call to purchase 16th century indulgences. The sermon was a devotional interpretation of scripture rather than exegetical, ignoring context and original meaning of the passage. The speaker then mostly talked about something which was more related to the theme for the month than the actual passage. Again this was reminiscent of what preaching, at it's worst, could be like to an audience of illiterate trusting masses unable to read the Bible in their own language.

So why is it that conservative Catholic and Pentecostal churches often have similar moral stances on issues? Perhaps, because they are not as different as they might appear at first glance.

Sick of those Sappy email fwds?

If you're any thing like me there is nothing worse than getting one of those painfully sentimental email forwards about how we can overcome any obstacle by just believing ourselves, or some similar similar over simplistic statement that you know is just not going to work for a third world grandmother in a refugee camp looking after her aids orphaned grandchildren. So it was nice to receive this the other day.

---

"True" Friendship None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, But never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the f***ing bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will take the piss out of you about it, every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whinging.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends,

Then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

Birthday Crash

Today is my birthday and what better way to celebrate than to have my car written off. Someone decided to pull out in front of me without looking. I managed to miss him and an oncoming telegraph pole. However, I busted three wheels and damaged the front and rear left corners of my car and because the car isn't worth that much it's probably a write off. Grrr Arrgh. Below is an exact, to scale recreation of the accident.

Zen and the Art of long distance travel

Last week I spent over 18 hours sitting in a car traveling to towns in Western Australia. Much of that time I spent listening to Zen and the Art of Motor Cycle Maintenance. Twice I have tried reading the book and both times I stopped reading before I had finished. Which I believe is not uncommon. Twice I have had complete strangers come up to me while I have been reading the book in public warning me not stop reading before the end of the book as they had done and to tell me how great the book was. So the long traveling seemed the perfect opportunity to listen to the recorded version and finally get to the end.

It was quite stunning to look at the vast West Australian outback whilst hearing descriptions of the American country. Pirsig Author of Zen... talks a lot about "quality" and the "classic" and "romantic" (or square and hip) split in ways of viewing the world. As I listened I could not help but see parallels between this and God and the scientific and spiritual ways of viewing the world. Pirsig asserts that quality is not definable and therefore not measurable or quantifiable in a classic or scientific sense, that is you cannot be objective about quality. Yet quality is not entirely subjective either. For example a majority of people will usually be able to distinguish between a quality song and a bad song or just a random group of noises. The same is true for all of the arts and much of human emotion. His whole argument takes 6hrs to listen to (and that’s abridged I think) so this quick summary does not to do it justice. None the less the analogy between God and quality was fascinating.

To concede that God like quality cannot be proven scientifically is perhaps obvious but the next parallel concession is that we cannot then confidently say that God possesses one or another characteristic, no matter how confident we may feel. This just like when we talk about a quality piece of art. I often feel that define particular characteristics of God and make doctrines and creeds around that we end up with a God akin to a piece of disposable pop music, guaranteed to be somewhat pleasant but really of little quality. I prefer to think of God as akin to a musical masterpiece (a song of great quality) and it is hard to define what makes it beautiful. With art and music the more we define what characteristics makes some form of art beautiful the more we limit it and limit the potential of the artists.

I’m not sure what this thinking means exactly or where it might lead. Like many of my ideas it’s something I’ll just try on for a while and see how it sits. Having recently sat with a group of people who where very confident in saying what God's opinion and desires were in some complex ethical situations (God's thought's on the matter often seemed to be very simple, black and white and a bit harsh and judgmental). This has made me all the more wary of trying to define God. I quite like what Jack Spong said about this matter. "A human cannot describe what god is like anymore than a horse can describe what a human is like." (or something like that)

To try and describe the experience of God is one thing. Establishing our own creeds and doctrines is where things can get shaky and is the breeding ground for religious fighting and fundamentalism. Can I be confident about God without pigeon holing God? I don't know. I'll try it own for a while and see how it feels.

Spong 101

It can be hard to get a handle on who exactly John Shelby Spong is and what he believes. There is certainly lots of hysteria around what he believes and a lot of misunderstanding. If your both confused and curious Richard Fidler recently interviewed John Spong for about 50 minutes on Brisbane ABC radio. It's a good intro for anyone who doesn't know much about him and what he believes. Fidler's lack of a theological agenda and lack of detailed knowledge means that he is an impartial and starts with some of the basic questions about his beliefs and history. If you were ever a Doug Anthony All Stars fan you might find it hard to take Richard Fidler seriously if you remember him singing songs like this (link contains rude words and descriptions of unpleasantness).

The Last Kiss

Last weekend I saw the film The Last Kiss. Exceeding my expectations, it's a great follow up for Zach Braff to the brilliant and understated Garden State. I tackles issues of love and fidelity in a unique mature way exhemplified for me by this quote from the Father in law in the film.

Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts.

Why believe and why I don't mind being confused.

Last month I was interviewed on a podcast by Cameron Reilly as a follow up to my What would it take for me to become an Atheist? post. It was a strange experience if only because I felt a bit like Cameron tried to do a bit of a "debunk the Xn" on me, whether he was aiming to do this or not I'm not sure. I think I was kind of hoping to talk more about the things we had in common rather than our differences. None the less it was weird to both walk away from the experience feeling like I had been "Beaten by the arguments" but yet not convinced to give up what I believe. I truly disconcerting place to be in. None the less if only for my own sake I did say I'd post on some of the issues raised that I felt I didn't answer very well (which was pretty much most of the issues)

Cameron started by asking me about the Egyptian God Horus and the similarities with Jesus as outlined in the film Zeitgeist which at the time I hadn't seen and now I have.

Part one of Zeitgeist looks very much like a "loose change" for Christians (loose change being a 911 conspiracy movie), part two is 911 conspiracy and almost a complete knock off of "loose change" which for me doesn't do very much for the films credibility. There were obvious mistakes of the film like the implication that early Xns believed Jesus was born on the 25th (the gospels make Jesus birth look like summer (which is the time time shepherds watched there flocks) and that there were three kings rather than just three gifts. It also implied that the gnostic tradition was the was the earliest Xn tradition who the catholic church who got rid of and then emphasised the historicity of Jesus. For me one of the biggest unanswered questions was why would a Jewish sect who's big story is their escape from Egypt appropriate an Egyptian God. I'm sure that any two people who want to debate this movie can out google themselves to their hearts content and their is plenty of pages supporting both sides.

All of that aside I'm happy to bet that the Jesus Project recently featured on Point of Inquiry does not come to the same conclusion as this documentary. If they do then it's time for me to seriously examine what I believe about Jesus.

After this we got into some deeper how can you believe in Jesus / God questions. I really tried to answer some of these questions way to quickly and most of them I should have said "I'll have to think about that" but I didn't.

The big thrust was why do I believe in God and why the Xn God. The short, not thought up on the spot, answer is that I just have an innate sense that there is something bigger than myself, something transcendent, something other in life. In part this inspired by the incredible beauty and brokenness that I see all around me and the incredible unreached potential of humanity on an individual and collective level. Jesus just happens to be the best representation of that innate sense of what this transcendent thing is.

One of the questions I wasn't sure how to answer at the time was why don't I pray to other gods. This is something I have never tried and probably never will partly because of my belief that all religions and denominations are trying to understand the transcendent in life. They are trying to understand what God is like and what that means to us. Which is why we can learn from each other. I'm not going to go through and test each religion because I do not hold the belief that I (or Xy) is right and everyone else is wrong. I believe that Xy as I understand it at the moment makes sense of my world as I experience it. As I continue to wrestle my ideas will continue to change, whether this causes me to wave outside of Xn orthodoxy or even theistic orthodoxy I don't know. I'm certainly not going to look down upon anyone just because they have a different view than me. These are precisely the people I can learn from.

As much as it may look like, from the above few paragraphs, that I'm not moved by the arguments of atheists and other secular humanists the truth is I am. It would be easy if I wasn't but I am. Unfortunately I often find my self in a space of doubt or confusion rather than a space of confidence either way. CS Lewis famously once said that Jesus was either a "Liar, Lunatic or Lord", and perhaps the same can be said of me or any other Xn. As I continue to wrestle with what I believe. I sometimes worry that I am more likely to booked into a mental asylum than to become an atheist. Dawkins or Harris said something along the lines of if someone said they spoke to an invisible being we'd put them in a mental asylum. Sometimes I wonder if that's where I belong. But it's not all preparing for the padded cells, one of the glorious things about confusion and faith and a lack of confidence is that this produces (in me any way) more love for others. To be a confident atheist i would tend to a destructive nihilism. To be a confident Xn I would tend towards self righteous arrogance and intolerance.

Thank you God for Confusion.