Tonight was a big work dinner full of sports people and business people eating food I could never afford and generously bidding on auction items I could never afford. I've realised that I'm actually getting worse at social situations. I find small talk so hard. Talking about TV, sport (world cup excluded), work, and hobbies or interests we don't share is all very polite but terribly unrewarding. I'm sure that I can see a glazed disinterest in the eyes of people I talk to when I talk about these things and I certainly feel that myself, as I try with all my strength to hide it. I can feel the slow turn into a grumpy old man fourty years early. It's not that I don't like people in fact quite the opposite. I love them and I am desperate to connect with them in some meaningful way. But small talk is all they offer me and more relevantly all I offer them. It's like there is some social barrier designed to protect me that is actually killing me.
Therefore I propose a secret handshake. The two squeeze hand shake. Rather than the traditional one squeeze and shake, you will squeeze and then squeeze again and shake. A little odd but not too odd that you can't write it off as a nervous twitch. Once one you have received the secret handshake the small talk barrier is down and its meaningful conversation for all.
Therefore I propose a secret handshake. The two squeeze hand shake. Rather than the traditional one squeeze and shake, you will squeeze and then squeeze again and shake. A little odd but not too odd that you can't write it off as a nervous twitch. Once one you have received the secret handshake the small talk barrier is down and its meaningful conversation for all.
3 comments:
I never find your conversation boring. You are the most caring and considerate human being I have ever encountered who always listens with deep love. - but those who fail to understand you and show care for the `bizarre` interests they may see about you do not recognize the pure beauty that lies within your soul.
Love you
Nyree
Sweet idea. I'm in.
Another option is this. Start haviing the conversations you want to have. I mean bring up what's on your mind. Two things may happen, either they get uncomfortable and leave (which is amusing and frees you from the small talk) or you'll find out who's willing to be real.
It's balls out man. Take the plunge.
Hello Nyree, thank you for your comment, you're the best - love you too.
Hello Stuart, Glad to have a convert so quickly. I'm not sure I have the courage to go with your "balls out" approach, definitely something I should try more often though.
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