Sexism Is Alive And Kicking - Reflections Of A Stay At Home Dad

My life is an unusual one, I'm a stay at home dad working part time as an admin assistant and studying counselling part time. All fine things to do but, they are also things that are almost exclusively the domain of women. Maybe not officially the domain of women but practically they are. At school I’m on the list of "mums". At work I've already heard the expression "ladies in the office" to describe all the people working in the office I am now working in.  At Uni 90% of my classmates are women. The other day I walked passed a toilet where the baby change room was inside the woman's toilet. Fortunately I don't have to change nappies any more but, I still have memories of asking an employee of a play centre how I could access the change room. At school I didn't get asked to help sew something for the classroom, I guess because I’m the bloke, normally I do all the sewing at home.
 

The unspoken message that I get is that I don't belong. Of course no person is actually ever going to say that, not unless I hang out with a specific subset of Xns. Just as an aside, one day I'd love to tell that subset of people that my wife is the bread-winner and therefore the head of the household. That I always have a shower shave and put on a nice shirt before she comes home and that I've got Proverbs 31 printed out on my fridge. But I digress. The fact that I don't “belong” but am welcomed anyway is fine it means that I am able to inhabit traditionally woman space or man space. What is probably harder or more subtle is the message that all the women get. The "this is where you belong" message. I'm going to guess it's much harder to send you husband along to a "mother's" group or consider putting him as the primary liaison at school, that is to put his name down on the "mum's list". Even Centrelink (social security) still insists on primarily dealing with my wife on matters to deal with our children. Fortunately I can still handle all the affairs because my wife can hand that responsibility on if she is "incapable" of doing it herself. Even when I cooked, sewed or cleaned something it was often received with admiration, for my wife when she was in the same role and for all the women around me that was just what was expected. I could go on. Everywhere I turn I bump into all the signs that tell women, or tell my wife what she "should" be doing and what her role "should" be. I'm posting this as I wonder as an outsider if it's sometimes easier to spot these things. Yes lots have changed over the years but we still have a long way to go.
 

Since purple is my favourite colour and I got married in purple I think I might stick this on my fridge anyway...

Proverbs 31

10 A capable husband who can find? He is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of his wife trusts in him, and she will have no lack of gain. 12 He does her good, and not harm, all the days of his life. 13 He seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 He is like the ships of the merchant, he brings her food from far away. 15 He rises while it is still night and provides food for his household and tasks for his servant-boys. 16 He considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of his hands he plants a vineyard. 17 He girds himself with strength, and makes his arms strong. 18 He perceives that his merchandise is profitable. His lamp does not go out at night. 19 He puts his hands to the distaff, and his hands hold the spindle. 20 He opens his hand to the poor, and reaches out his hands to the needy. 21 He is not afraid for his household when it snows, for all his household are clothed in crimson. 22 He makes himself coverings; his clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 His wife is known in the city gates, taking her seat among the elders of the land. 24 He makes linen garments and sells them; he supplies the merchant with sashes. 25 Strength and dignity are his clothing, and he laughs at the time to come. 26 He opens his mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on his tongue. 27 He looks well to the ways of his household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 His children rise up and call him happy; his wife too, and she praises him: 29 "Many men have done excellently, but you surpass them all." 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give him a share in the fruit of his hands, and let his works praise him in the city gates.