I'm in a bit of an unfocused point in life right now. I'm about to start my fifth year of my job and I'm doing pretty much exactly the same thing as when I started. Perhaps more pressing is that my wife is finding living in our suburb hard and I have really struggled to think of how we can make any meaningful impact in our community. I don't think she's being unreasonable when she says "I'd like the second word my daughter hears from the neighbours hot to be c***". Our suburb is a mix of people who live behind their fence. one house on our street nicely illustrates how much some people like their lives to be gated from those around them. the front yard (and whole front of the house) has a gate all the way around it, there is a separate gate on the alcove before the front door and then a security door and all the windows are covered by metal shutters. So, you'd have to jump two seven foot high fences just to knock on the font door.
Other neighbours are really heavy drinkers who love their footy and cars. My job often means I'm working when the neighbours are drinking on the front porch. When I have been around to join them for a BBQ it has been very awkward. With my small drinking capacity I might as well be a tea totaller (it's a bit like turning up to a stamp collecting club with 5 stamps). Further more I know nothing about footy or cars. I'm not exactly an outgoing person but I've usually found it pretty easy to connect with people whether that's hippy arty types, street present inner city homeless people or elderly folk at an Anglican Church. So should we move? We'd like to move nearer my wife's family - who I really like - and nearer the friends my wife has made through playgroup and church. Any thoughts about making this kind of decision is appreciated.
Other neighbours are really heavy drinkers who love their footy and cars. My job often means I'm working when the neighbours are drinking on the front porch. When I have been around to join them for a BBQ it has been very awkward. With my small drinking capacity I might as well be a tea totaller (it's a bit like turning up to a stamp collecting club with 5 stamps). Further more I know nothing about footy or cars. I'm not exactly an outgoing person but I've usually found it pretty easy to connect with people whether that's hippy arty types, street present inner city homeless people or elderly folk at an Anglican Church. So should we move? We'd like to move nearer my wife's family - who I really like - and nearer the friends my wife has made through playgroup and church. Any thoughts about making this kind of decision is appreciated.
2 comments:
What a hard situation! I feel for you. It must be lonely as well as depressing. I've had a hard time connecting in a very different Perth suburb, and I thought that it might change when we have kids one day - but your experience suggests not. Good on you for trying, going to bbqs and trying to make that small talk.
I think there's something very disconnected and isolated about contemporary life in Perth. Little community.
The Peacetree people got over that by planting a community garden and do get people talking; I don't like your chances of planting a community garden in your suburb - or mine!
I hope God shows you the best thing to do.
- Nathan
In many ways I think the Peace Tree model of putting a community in a community is great model, but it does mean you've got to find a group of people all commited to living in the one area, which I think is harder (but not impossible) when you have kids and are buying houses rather than renting them. Living in a new suburb means that all the land is planned out to exactly what is going to be where. The closest we could get to a community garden would be using our front yard and I'm not sure how interested people would be in that anyway.
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