Sometimes it's hard to recognise that you are in a cult. That you are part of a group that dogmaticly holds to a set of beliefs no matter what the evidence around you is. My family, friends and extended community are all part of this cult so, when I stick my hand up and say I don't think the UFO is coming to rescue us, people stare at me like I'm an idiot.
The cult I'm in so pervasive that I don't even know what it's called. As far as I'm concerned this is how everybody lives and I'm starting to doubt some of our most foundational doctrines.
I no longer believe the following...
1) I no longer believe I gain pleasure or satisfaction through consumption. I no longer believe that a brown fizzy liquid will make my life better or that a shiny white phone will make me more connected with my friends and family. I longer believe that buying anything will make me happy. The most rewarding thing I did all year was give away a whole bunch of my stuff.
2) I no longer believe in eternal growth: I no longer believe that we can continue to use more and more of our infinite resources with no consequence least of all consequence that they might run out.
3) I no longer believe in moral progress: I'm no longer believe that we are morally superior to our fore-fathers. We may not have slaves serving us coffee and biscuits. Instead we slaves picking our coffee and chocolate for our biscuits. We haven't removed slavery or slave like conditions we have just removed it from our immediate view.
Then there's this certain level of unease that so many things I have learnt are only useful in the cult. For example: I can name twenty American Brand names but not one edible plant in my local area. I spent hours learning how to do quadratic equations as a teenager but i had no idea how to do an oil change on a car. It was like I was educated to live somewhere other than the reality I find myself in.
I am an apostate and a renegade in this cult. I want to run away but I don't even know where the door to the compound is located.